When that alarm goes off in the mornings I just turn it off and lay there. I think of reasons why i should get up, of course non of them are good enough, but I get up anyway. I have no energy, no reason to get ready for the long day ahead of me. I don't even feel like putting make up on or getting dressed. I go to school thinking of going home, my real home.. the one that's an hour away! People talk to me and I act interested but everyone knows I'm hiding something. I get upset when someone talks of negativity, although nothing positive ever comes out of my mouth unless its about someone else. The feeling of being alone has always made me down, but right now I'm numb. I want to be happy, but I'm not even happy with my body or life. Its rather pathetic. If i could talk to people the way I blog I think things would be easier. I just can't find the excitement i once had in life. I just sit in my room and watch as the time passes. I go to sleep and repeat the process. I don't know how to feel about the situation, I pass time by thinking how my life would be if i didn't do some of the things that i have in my past. Which only lets me know how bad things really are. I'm in a maze, and I don't remember how to get out.. This is how i feel right now..
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